Saturday, June 25, 2016

May 2016

Sorry for slacking in getting things up to date...

May. May was a bit rocky. On May 3rd, I got a text from our GC saying she was heading to the doctor because of severe cramping and heavy bleeding. My heart sank. Things up to this point had been smooth and I was completely blindsided. I had been on cloud 9 and although I knew that things would not necessarily be perfect, the positivity instantly left. I was convinced she was miscarrying. Waiting for her to see the nurse was the absolute worst wait (Dr. G was out of the office). I ended up having a massive meltdown and had to leave work. As soon as I got home she let me know the nurse was able to locate the gestational sac. Her cramping was still intense, so they put her on an anti-inflammatory and told her to continue all meds. We originally had an appointment scheduled for May 5th so some of my uneasiness was pushed aside knowing we would be going back so soon. That feeling of complete helplessness was causing me to have serious anxiety. The fact that my hubby was on his way to South Africa didn't help either...

On May 5th, I picked up our GC and we headed to the doctor. Although her bleeding had stopped, I had prepared myself for the worst. I went back to that dark place and had no optimism. This was the appointment that I had waited for before the bleeding started, it was supposed to be when I would hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. The doctor struggled in finding the gestational sac, there was a large sac of fluid (obviously blood), and he didn't want to add to her discomfort so he didn't try to locate the heartbeat. Dr. G wasn't worried and told her to keep taking the estrace and progesterone. I felt deflated and it took everything in me to not lose my composure. We made an appointment for the following week and left.

Those 7 days were torture. The bleeding had stopped and she was now experiencing "morning sickness". It was impossible to not get my hopes up! On May 12th, we both arrived at the doctor's office rather early hoping they would get us in sooner. I just needed to know. As soon as Dr. G began the ultrasound, it was instant- that tiny bean was right where it was supposed to be. The heartbeat was strong and I could finally breathe again! Our little bean was now 7w5d!!

Things continued to progress and by May 23rd, all meds had been discontinued. She was now producing enough progesterone and estrogen on her own which was a huge relief.

May was exhausting. The fear was constant and impossible to push aside. Every appointment gave me hope though and by the time we reached 10 weeks, Dr. G assured us that as long as things continued to look good, we could discuss seeing my OB at the next appointment.

It's safe to say that June was welcomed with open arms!

Monday, June 13, 2016

~Thursday, April 21, 2016~

Heavy rain resulted in some serious flooding which meant I had this entire week off. Can you believe I actually WANTED to work? There's just something about 80+ kids having a way of keeping you incredibly distracted. I banked on work keeping my mind occupied, rather then picking apart any minuscule symptom our GC has [or hasn't] had.

SO, I originally hadn't planned on going to the doctor's office for the beta only because getting subs as the school year comes to a close is more and more difficult. However, because I had an unplanned week of vacation, I decided to meet our GC for the blood test and a quick meeting with Dr. G. I was incredibly early and as each minute passed I thought I was going to lose my breakfast. I've never been more nervous. My stomach was in serious knots and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Road closures due to the flooding caused our GC to run a bit late, which didn't help my nerves. Once she finally arrived, I went with her while they did the BW and then we waited to see Dr. G. Honestly, it was a silly meeting because he didn't say anything I haven't heard before... Beta above 5 means we are pregnant, progesterone and estrogen will continue, blah, blah blah. On our way out, I asked the nurse how long the results typically take and she said about an hour depending on how busy the lab is. Perfect, getting home would only take a half hour.

About 10 minutes from getting home, my phone rang. I completely flipped out. How could they be calling ALREADY?!?! With my heart about to beat out of my chest, I nervously answered. The nurse asked for me, and then said the best thing I have ever heard. "SHE'S PREGNANT!" I instantly lost it, full on sobbing, couldn't talk. Beta was 865. She said our GC would have to go in Monday for an US and BW. I thanked her, hung up, and couldn't dial my husband fast enough. I literally screamed when he answered.

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Thank you all for your kindness, support, love, and prayers. It still feels surreal and we haven't had a smooth couple of months, but baby is doing very well and growing on schedule! I'll write a completely up to date post later this week :)

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Transfer Day ~ April 7, 2016

This is our 5th transfer. Although my heart is guarded, it's safe to say I'm trying my best to be optimistic.

Nervous excitement pumped through me on the way to the doctor's office. Once we went back into the transfer room and I saw that gorgeous embryo on the screen, tears streamed down my cheeks. This has to work. In our 5 years of TTC, we've never had a positive pregnancy. FIVE YEARS and no positives. This has to work. Our embryo has a perfect environment to thrive in. This has to work. 



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You know what's worse than the tww?? A tww where you are trying your best to not text your GC every few hours asking how she's feeling or if she has any symptoms beside those from the PIO. Trying not to act like a complete psycho is incredibly tough and nearly impossible for me, especially because I'm such a control freak.

This is by far the WORST tww I've endured. Period.

Beta is scheduled for April 21st. This has to work.