Thursday, February 5, 2015

not ashamed.

So, I have realized that I haven't written a post since before the holidays... and to be honest, I've tried to write many times throughout the past month.

My anxiety has reached an all time high. I've done it to myself. No ones to blame [well, other than fertile people, just kidding, not really]. In all seriousness, I've placed this massive guilt on myself for not being able to do the one thing that women are supposed to do. It's not normal, I get this. My internal struggles with the fact that I cannot carry my own child have not gotten easier. I thought that after the sting wore off I'd do what I've always done... get back up and move on to the next step. Although we have decided on what's next, some days I don't want to accept that THIS is where we're at.

I'm not ashamed that I'm struggling. I'll get there, I always do.




5 comments:

  1. Well you are still funny! I can appreciate who you are blaming your anxiety on lol :) I have missed getting updates from you. I hope that your next step brings more healing to you and more peace and happiness. Thinking of and praying for you! Love you girl! xoxo

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  2. I've been thinking about you. Wonder where your at. Do not be ashamed. Struggles don't define us as weak. Prayers that you figure out and come to peace with your next step. Xoxo

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  3. So many hugs to you girl! I know this is so hard, we are all here for you! Prayers and strength your way!

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  4. I've been thinking about you also. Although I am not in your shoes I know this is so very hard. I pray that whatever you choose to do next you have peace about and that it works out perfectly! Hugs

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  5. I've been waiting for you to past again and hoping that time would help you heal. The feelings you're dealing with are not easy. I'm saying a prayer for you that you're able to find peace with your circumstances. However your baby finds its way into your arms, it won't matter in the end. Don't give up my dear friend. Hugs!

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