although I could care less what I get for Christmas (which let's be honest, no one can give me, not even Santa), I do pride myself in finding the perfect gifts for my family. shopping and wrapping gifts has been oddly therapeutic.
my true holiday funk didn't really sink in until this week. sending Christmas cards has become a dreaded (and boycotted) event over the past few years. my husband insists on it, and I could give two shits. please, let me send you another Christmas card that highlights the fact that we are still not parents. you will not see the words joyful, merry and bright, the happiest season of all, or any other phrase that would express that I enjoy this time of year on our Christmas 2014 cards.
it makes me sad that I don't love Christmas like I used to. my holiday spirit may have gotten lost somewhere between the IVF failures and the [still fresh] knowledge that being pregnant is no longer in the cards for me... just a guess though.
despite the funk, my time and energy is being focused on spending time with my dear friend and her family before they pack up and begin a new chapter in China.