Saturday, September 27, 2014

friendships change.

Now that I have embarked on another 2ww, I can honestly say I'm in a better place emotionally than I anticipated.

I've spent a great deal of time pondering the last 3 years... this journey has taught me a lot about myself and others. I'm sad to say that some of my longest friendships have suffered. These broken friendships have weighed heavily on my heart, and I've been purposefully pushed to side, thrown "away", and forgotten. That's not what friendship is about, not in my book. I could sit here and apologize.. but what would I be sorry for? I'm sorry that infertility chose me and I dealt with it the best way I possibly could? I'm sorry that I was unable to attend baby showers, gender reveal parties, etc. because it was just too much for my heart to endure? Here's the thing... I've also formed some amazing, life-long friendships over the past few years. These ladies respect the place I'm in and have shown nothing but love and support. That's all I want. I do not want understanding. I want respect. I'm sorry to say that I'm not sorry.

So, as I sit here with a little fear of the unknown, what I do know is that the outpouring of support will continue to help me brush myself off and get back up again because I am loved.



6 comments:

  1. Sometimes I tell myself that friendships will enivatably change, but perhaps fertilty is just the catalyst. I have been coming to terms that my closest friend who has been so unbelievable insensitive to our infertility will not change if I do have a baby. I feel that the damage cannot be undone, we may still be friends, but things will always be different. (sorry for the spelling, errors, I've having trouble with my keyboard)
    I like the saying I'm sorry that I'm not sorry!

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  2. You are not alone. It sucks that!some friends aren't supportive but it makes you appreciate the ones that are even more! I hope your 2ww goes by so quickly and you are making the best announcement ever very soon!!! Thinking of and praying for you!

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  3. You have to take care of you first. It's a shame that more people aren't understanding of what it is like to go through infertility. You should link this post up on my blog. I think people would really relate to it. Hugs! Sending sticky thoughts for your 2WW!

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  4. I'm sorry, it really sucks how some people just don't understand. That's why I love my TTC Sisters, they just get it! I really hope your TWW goes quickly and brings you your rainbow baby ♥ Hang in there sweetie, you're never alone!

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  5. It stinks because when friends have kids and you don't priorities just change so it can bring distance. I have dealt with that for sure! But also some people just don't get what we all are dealing with. Hoping this 2ww goes by quickly with a BFP at the end :)

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  6. There just isn't a How To guide for this stuff. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I've tried to be reasonable with my friendships too. Sometimes you just have to take care of YOU and your heart. If some friends don't understand that, then - well - it doesn't mean you should suffer even more. I have always always always given myself a pass for how I FEEL. It can be frustrating; it is a shame when friendships suffer and change. You're doing great, though, love.

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