Sunday, October 27, 2013

this, too, shall pass.

You know what I like most about such things as the "Sunshine Award"? They allow you to take a step back and think of all the things in life that DO make you happy. It's a brief escape from the reality of infertility... and it was nice while it lasted... 

but the truth is I can't seem to get past the fact that a year ago, we were starting a fresh IVF cycle, and I was so incredibly hopeful that it would work (despite a convo with a "friend" who happens to be a delivery nurse and she proceeded to tell me that it never works the first time, or the 2nd or 3rd for that matter- in which I just sat there and didn't tell her what I REALLY thought of her senseless words). I hate feeling like every step I take in the right direction, something gets in the way and sends me 1,000 steps backwards- whether it's another emotional breakdown, or a stupidly THIN uterine lining. Yup- after 2 weeks on estradiol, my awesome lining is barely 6 mm. Cue in another week of FOUR blue pills a day. Honestly, I didn't think it'd actually be any thicker than the dozen + other times I've taken it. I just can't seem to accept that it's the only reason why I haven't been able to see those 2 lines on a HPT. Something's gotta give... and I realize that my new RE has to start somewhere... apparently my ovarian reserve is really good, and if we've always had good quality embryos, he has to begin with my awesome crappy lining.

This storm will pass, it's just one of those days... 


2 comments:

  1. The Lord is with you - hang in there girl!

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  2. Boo... the lining thing is frustrating! I know some other girls are struggling with that right now too. I wish I had helpful insight or a unique idea to try. The blue pills sound awful, but it at last sounds promising that the new RE has zeroed in on a thing to work on, a reason for the failures. Hoping he's right and that he's got the solution! Thinking of you!

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