Saturday, October 5, 2013

it's just not fair...

I'm pulling the "fair" card today. I'm in that low, painful place that yanks at my heartstrings. It's just not fair... that I have to put on a brave face each day when another person asks how I'm doing, or when a student asks if I have my own children, or when another pregnancy is announced and a coworker is becoming a grandmother (again), or when I have to celebrate the pregnancy of a member of my team and have to hold myself together until it's absolutely unbearable and then have to excuse myself from the joy that everyone else is sharing. It's not fair that yet another holiday season is approaching, and we are able to have company stay in our home because the room that's supposed to be a nursery is empty. It's not fair that as each day passes, I feel more and more distanced from the people I care about most because their lives are moving forward like they are supposed to. Today, I'm questioning how this can be real, because the hurt and pain that infertility has brought me is just not fair.

6 comments:

  1. Oh girl! Thinking about you today! hugs

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  2. It really is so unfair. I hate it. I'm so sorry. :(

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  3. I just came across your blog. I completely agree with your feelings in this post. I am so sorry and hope you are more than compensated one day for the unfairness. hugs!

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  4. It really is not fair. I'm sorry you were having a rough day. I hope this week will be better for you!

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  5. As strong as we have to be to maneuver this road of infertility, we are certainly entitled to have a pity day here and there. Sending you lots of love today...I know too well how alone you can feel during these "low" moments. It's not fair and we are all here for you. Big hugs.

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  6. No honey. It's not fair. It seems like there has been a lot of pity parties going on in the blogosphere this week. Hugs to you. Hope you pull yourself out of your low very soon.

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