Saturday, September 7, 2013

infertility bipolarism(?), some retail therapy & finding peace

does infertility bipolarism (not sure if that's even a real word...) exist?
*I fully acknowledge that having bipolar disorder is very serious and I'm in no way poking fun at the disorder or those who suffer from it.

I mean, one minute I feel at peace with the decision to take a month off from the craziness that another cycle brings, and then the next I'm bawling my darn eyes out wishing that ANOTHER month wasn't separating me and my future. seriously though?! these back and forth emotions are for the birds! (or the owl that was HOOTING outside my window for a good 2 hours last night, keeping me wide awake, and most likely the cause of my AWESOME mood today).

on a [happy] side note, I got my first Stitch Fix box in the mail yesterday (thanks to Jessah over at Dreaming of Dimples). oh.my.word. this could get me into SERIOUS trouble! my petite figure makes it rather challenging to find clothes that fit me without making me look like the 9 year olds I teach. I'll admit, I didn't LOVE the tops that my stylist sent, but, she did hit the nail on the head with another item.

I found this beauty on Pinterest a few weeks ago and part of your Style File is providing any additional information (i.e. links to boards on Pinterest) that will help your stylist find the best items that match you and your style.


so, I was pleasantly surprised when THIS was at the bottom of my box! 



I'm floored that it actually fits me quite perfectly! yay for Liz and finding this for me!! 

now I'm going to go take some time for me... get a mani/pedi... finish searching for the few fall decor items on my list... and hopefully find the peace that oh so quickly disappeared after I got off the phone with the nurse yesterday, solidifying my decision to wait, again.



8 comments:

  1. Yes, I do think that condition exists! I've felt the same way every time we've taken a break. Sounds like a good idea at the time and then it's like the minutes just drag by. Hang in there girl. You made a decision, and you've got to believe it was the right one for a reason!

    Love the new jacket. Making me want some fall weather....STILL 100+ degrees here in TX. Hmpf Enjoy your YOU time today darlin :)

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    1. It's a brutal thing my mid does to me... but you're right, the decision was made for a reason, and I can only hope it was for the best.

      Thanks, I am extremely excited to wear the jacket! I too, live in Texas and will not be sporting it for a very long time... Unless we miraculously get a cold front, but I'm convinced that won't be happening any time soon ;)

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  2. Yay! I am really glad you enjoyed your fix. Isn't it super fun. I'm hooked. Love your jacket.

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    1. I already signed up for my next fix and somehow, my husband actually thinks it's cool, too. So weird, but I'll go with it!

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  3. If it exists, I definitely have it! You are not alone in your feelings. Stay strong girlfriend...

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    1. I'm glad I'm not alone! It's part of this messed up process, just comes with the territory... thanks :)

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  4. From Belle Haven Drive: Oh. my. gosh. I know what you mean about the bipolarism. After my third failed transfer, I knew I needed a break after receiving "closure" on beta day because that was the pregnancy I lost. The very next day I was explaining my rage to my husband because I chose to wait and hated that "stuck" feeling. It turned out, I did the luteal-phase stim cycle during that cycle, so I didn't have to wait too long to get started again. This time? I do need a break just so I can re-arrange my life and figure out how to live without eating, breathing, sleeping IVF. Basically, I need to find sanity in my pregnant-less, baby-less life.

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